“After waiting for about an hour after providing a sperm sample (let me tell you, just like scheduled sex, masturbating in a small room with a plastic sheet over a chair is not as enjoyable as one might think), a urologist simply told me I had something called varicoceles, which is basically varicose veins in the testicles, that lowers sperm count. Apparently it was something I was born with, but it caught me totally by surprise. I had never felt any pain and I had no idea I had this condition.”